its like we're chasin all those stars
by chasin all those stars xx
Summary: a series of "what ifs" focusing on Serena/Nate. if you have any what if's that you want let me know! i'll try to write one
1. Picture Perfect

What If Nate Didn't Call The Cops on Serena's Dad...

"He didn't leave! He's my DAD Nate, he wouldn't leave! He just went down to the lobby to get his papers, he's coming back up!" tears threatened to spill over Serena's crystal blue eyes as she strutted over to the elevators.

Everyone in the room (Nate, Dan, Blair, Eric, Chuck, Jenny, Lilly and Rufus...everyone except the one person she wanted to be there) awkwardly stood, waiting for Serena to realize the truth.

"Serena" Nate breathed, taking a step closer and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She shrugged it off and a tear spilled over, rolling down her cheek. "He wouldn't leave me Natie. I just got him back," more tears spilled over as she stepped into the elevator.

Nate stood back and watched as the doors closed, sending Serena down to see exactly how fatherly her dad was. Well at least now he knows where Serena gets her flighty nature from.

"Nathaniel" Nate turned around when he heard his name, to see Lilly walking towards him.

"Please, don't let her be alone Nathaniel. I know I wasn't the best mother to her when she was growing up and she didn't get a father. She wanted a chance, and he just blew it. She can't be alone, especially not now," Lilly sighed patting his arm hoping Nate could be the one to fix her daughter.

"Of course," he nodded in response to her request.

Once the elevator doors opened up to the penthouse, Nate stepped in and pressed the button for the lobby.

The ride down seemed to take longer than it should have, probably because all Nate wanted to do was wrap Serena up in his arms and protect her from the harsh realities of the world. All he could think of is how anybody, let alone her father, could leave Serena. He never wanted to be apart from her.

As soon as the doors to the elevator opened Nate stepped out only to have his heart break a little at the site of her.

Serena sat on the edge of a table looking down; her blonde hair covered her face, but Nate could tell she was crying because her shoulders were shaking a little.

A wave of emotions (sadness due to the sight of her, heartbreak because she was hurt and he hated it, and anger because he could not fathom how her own father could do this to her) washed over Nate. He tentatively stepped towards her until he was close enough for her to hear his footsteps.

She couldn't believe her dad left. He left her. She finally found her dad after practically a year of searching (and stunts to get him to notice her) and he leaves, without even a goodbye. She even stood up for him against everyone...even Nate.

She looked up from the floor to see Nate standing their watching her.

"He left" she breathed slowly (and painfully, because who would ever want to admit that their own father left them)

"It's his lose Serena, he's never going to know his own daughter, and that is his loss," He spoke softly, sitting on the table right next her, their shoulders touching lightly.

A new batch of tears threatened to spill over her eyes as she finally looked into his blue (blueblueblue, the brightest blue she's ever seen) eyes and said, "he didn't even say goodbye. I didn't even get to say goodbye."

No words could take away the pain, and all Nate could do was throw his arm around her shoulder and pull her head right under his chin. He kissed the top of her head and whispered how sorry he was repeatedly (because who wants to hear some excuse of why their own father could leave without even saying goodbye).

"I thought this time would be different...that he would stay and I could finally have my dad. I never got to be 'Daddy's Princess' like Blair did growing up. I didn't even get to be 'Mommy's Princess' because she was always jetting off to somewhere new with some new guy. You got to go sailing with your dad...and I didn't even know mine. It's NOT fair!" The anger that was brewing within her, was now spilling over the edge.

Sobs racked through Serena's body as she used her tiny fists to hit Nate (because he was there, and she was she REALLY angry). She repeated her mantra of "it's not fair" while continuing to hit Nate (who just wrapped his arms around her as tight as he could).

Eventually exhaustion settled in and Serena's body just collapsed into Nate's strong arms. Nate pulled her in close to his body trying to fix whatever he could with just a hug. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Vanya turn around, giving them whatever privacy they could get in the lobby of Serena's appartment building.

After a few moments of silence (along with some tears), Serena pulled away from Nate's embrace and stood up in front of him (Nate was still perched against the edge of the table)

"Nate, I...thank you. I'm sorry that I, uh, that I didn't believe you I just didn't think-"

"Serena, you don't have to apologize. He's your dad, I know that you didn't want to believe what he did...I wouldn't either." Nate ran his hands up and down the sides of her comfortingly.

"I just thought that if he came back, I would finally figure out who I am, or what I'm supposed to be. That, if he came back, it would make up for all the lost time, you know?" Her head dipped down in embarressment.

Nate used one of his hands to bring her head back up to eye level with him, "Hey now. You dont need your dad to figure out who you are, or who you're supposed to be. I know who you are. You're Serena van der Woodsen, the most beautiful, amazing women I have ever known. The best girlfriend I have ever had, but don't tell Blair that." He ended with a smile, hoping to get a giggle out of the (almost) broken girl in front of him.

It worked, he thought as a giggle slipped out of her mouth.

"Well you're the best boyfriend I've ever had. But who am I supposed to be, Natie?"

"We'll figure it out...together because I'm not leaving you, no matter how much you want me to." Nate stood up and slipped his hand into hers, intertwining their fingers. "I'm not letting you run. You're done running."

"Okay," she breathed out as she pulled him closer to her, reaching her head up.

Her lips hovered over his before she pressed them to his.

"Just okay?" He asks cautiously, after pulling away.

"I don't have anything to run to. I finally have what I wanted right infront of me," Serena whispered, staring deep into his eyes.

"You've always had me," He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled tight (vowing to never let go).

"Yeah...I guess I did," she said giving him another kiss.

So maybe she didn't get her picture-perfect happily ever after that she (secretly) sorta always dreamed about. Maybe she'll never be daddy's princess. Maybe her dad won't walk her down the aisle someday at her wedding. And maybe her kids won't know who their grandfather is. But maybe her future will be better than she dreamed it would be. Maybe her daughter(s) will be daddy's (Nate) princesses. Maybe they'll get to have their dad walk them down the aisle. So even if she didn't get the perfect childhood she wanted, maybe her kids will.

But whatever happens, she'll be okay because Nate promised he'd be there.


	2. Guess How Much I Love You

What If There Was a Missing Scene Between Nate and Serena in 3x12

Guess How Much I Love You

He's sitting in the hard chair that he pulled as close to her bed as possible to watch her. It's been exactly eight hours since she has been admitted to the hospital and he has not left her bedside since. Visiting hours ended but he flashed a smile and dropped the last name and the nurses let him stay the night. He hatted the idea of her waking up and no one being there (because he's there, always has been).

It's sometime around four in the morning and Nate is still wide awake, sitting in the same chair in the same position. She's laying in the bed fast asleep, curled into the covers like its her shield against the world. There are scrapes covering the right side of her face, and a giant bruise that takes up most of her forehead. A total of twenty-two stitches were used to close up all the cuts. After hitting her head so hard against the windshield Serena wound up with a severe concussion that was keeping her in the hospital longer than wanted.

The thought of almost losing her is running on a loop in his mind and he can't help but think that if Tripp was going a little faster and the car crashed a little harder he could've lost her forever. Nate cannot fathom what a forever without Serena (his Serena) would be like. He does not even want to think about what it would be like because it hurts too much to imagine it.

He looks down at his hands, slightly bruised, and he gets a mixed emotion of happy and angry. Anger courses through his veins at the mere thought of Tripp and his unforgivable actions. He thinks about how good it felt to just hit him, a little for himself and a lot for Serena.

He can't remember which day it is, or how long it's been since she's been admitted to the hospital. The days have blurred together and he's slept or not slept through the whole time. He decided after the first time she woke up, which happened to be the first (and only) time he left the room, he was staying until she either left the hospital or finally decided to speak to her. Not knowing why she won't talk to him (she's talked to everyone but him, pretending to be asleep every time he's there) is eating him up inside. It's not her fault that his own family member screwed up.

He's still staring at the ground when the beeping of Serena's heart monitor starts racing, beeping faster and faster before each beep blends into one long sound. Nurses and doctors swarm into the room, pushing buttons and throwing medical terms into the air that Nate can't comprehend but he hears She's flatlining and knows it's not good. He tries to go over to her, but a nurse (could've been a doctor, but he wasn't looking at them just Serena) stops him and tries to push him towards the open door. They're halfway there when, for the first time since before the accident, he sees her soblue eyes full of fear and knowing. Time seems to stop around them and for a moment it's just the two of them (the way it should've been all along) in the room, blue on blue, and if he looks closely he can see the life they would have (would of had), the happiness dripping with each moment. Her eyes start to slowly close and the endless beeping is drilling into his head again, bringing him back to reality. The alternate reality gone from his mind like the soul from her body.

He thinks he's screaming her name, but everything seems so surreal he can't tell. The nurse is calling his name, trying to calm him.

"Nate...Nate," he feels himself being shaken.

With a jolt he surveys the room. The doctors and nurses that were occupying the room are no longer there, it's only himself, Serena and the nurse that woke him from his horrid nightmare. Hearing the consistent beep of the heart monitor that is attached to the alive and somewhat well Serena he relaxes and leans back into the chair, shooting the nurse a smile and a quick thanks.

The blonde-haired (not the right shade), hazel-eyed (wrong color) nurse responds with a sympathetic smile. Once checking in on Serena, she leaves the room.

He's pretty sure he can feel his heart pounding in his eardrums, still not calmed after the dream that felt so real. Too real, too close. An idea pops into his head and he gets out of his seat and sits on the edge of her bed, taking her cold, small hands within his own clammy ones. Her back is turned towards him, and her face turned away but he's known her so long (knows her inside and out) that he can tell she's awake and doesn't fight the feeling in his stomach that maybe she'll actually hear him this time and not just listen.

"Serena, I know you're awake and for whatever you're pretending you're not, I don't care," He pauses to see if he'll get a reaction and when he doesn't he continues with his speech.

"I'm sorry about what he did to you, that he moved you. And I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you faster. Fast enough so you didn't even have to get in the car with him. But I'm here now so please, whatever the reason you're ignoring me right now is just tell me and I'll try to fix it, because I love you Serena. I've loved you since before I can even remember. So long, it's practically second nature. Just...just talk to me Serena. Let me in, please, because I've been sitting in this goddamned chair for I don't even know how long having the same dream play on a loop every time I closed my eyes that you die. And I know you're fine but...jesus Serena just stop pretending. Please, I'm sorry that Tripp fucked up and that you are here because of this and-"

"Stop. Please, just stop. Stop apologizing."

It's the first time he's heard her voice since he saw her at the crash. It sounds just as broken as before but something tells him it's a different kind of breaking.

"I've been sitting in this same chair, waiting to just see for myself that you were okay. And you've been pretending to be asleep this whole time. Why?"

"I know. So don't apologize. I'm the one who screwed up, again."

"Tell me what's going on Serena, just let me in for once."

"I thought...that I made the right decision. And then the crash happens and I was wrong, so so wrong and you sit at my side the whole time like I didn't stab you in the back and go with your cousin after you tell me you loved me. I couldn't face you, Natie. I didn't know what to say." Her eyes are brimming with tears when she finally musters up the courage to meet his awaiting eyes.

"Serena we all make mistakes, I'm not going to get mad at you for that...for any of it. I'm just so glad you're okay," He gives her hand an extra squeeze for reassurance.

"Nate, just because I'm in the hospital doesn't mean you have to lie. You should hate me after what I did to you, to everyone."

"S, you should know after all these years that I can't stay mad at you. No matter how hard I try, I can't because I love you."

His heart, laid out bare on the table.

He relaxes when he sees her smile and bit her lip to keep from smiling too much. Her smile is then replaced with her all-to-common smirk and he knows she has come up with a witty remark. It amazes him how with Serena you can see multiple sides (sad and broken, happy and whole) in such a short amount of time (another thing he adds on to the endless reasons of why he is so in love with her).

"How much?"

He can't help but let out a chuckle at her response and holds his hands out as far as they'll stretch, "THIS much!"

She pouts and scrunches her nose up and says, "only that much?"

The air around the two of them suddenly seems to get a little thicker as he gets closer to her, his lips hovering a few inches over hers. He whispers softly, "to the moon and back."

He watches as her eyes light up in recognition but neither say anything. They choose not to comment on the fact that he just quoted her favorite childhood story, or the fact that he remembered her favorite childhood story. His lips crash on hers and time is lost amongst the two.

Neither of them are really sure what it is they are starting here, but if they're being honest whatever it is, it didn't really start here. There is not a pinpoint moment when things changed because they didn't. It's always been there, bubbling just beneath the surface. Buried enough to hide the spark for a while, but just close enough to the top to where they could still feel the heat.


	3. Beating The Heat

A/N: its been a while but thats because i've lost inspiration for serena/nate but ive recently found the spark again. hope you enjoy!

What if Nate and Serena had a moment at the wedding in 1x18

* * *

"_With enough time, we all find what we're looking for. Even if it was there all along."_

Serena van der Woodsen has been in many situations, both pleasant and unpleasant. This situation, however, tops the cake.

"Hows your food?" Dan asks trying to break the tension

"Good thanks," she whispers looking down at her untouched food.

"I was being sarcastic you haven't eaten a bite. Lets go somewhere quiet where we can talk, please Serena?" He begs her as he reaches for her hand.

"Yeah, I guess," she says reluctantly.

They find somewhere secluded to talk and they both sit, mulling over what to say and what to do.

"Dan, it's okay. So, you hooked up with Georgina. I kind of figured that when I saw you coming out of her bedroom this morning. But I'm willing to let it go. I don't want to break up with you," Serena said turning to look him in the eyes.

"Maybe..maybe I want to break up with you. Maybe I can't just let it go. You lied to me. Over and over. And it was easy for you," Dan replies.

"Dan, it wasn't easy," She reaches for his hand, trying to hold on to whatever was left of them.

"I got seduced by a girl pretending to be someone else, and you knew."

"But I couldn't say anything Dan," Serena said trying to keep herself from breaking.

"Oh because you were afraid I'd find out you thought you killed somebody," Dan exclaimed.

"I was hoping you'd understand."

"I am the most understanding person in the world. But this? And this is not about who you used to be, your past, or who you were when we met. I mean the only reason i was with Georgina was because yesterday morning you slept with two random guys you met in a bar."

"No no, I didn't. I just said that!"

"Serena...how is that less crazy?"

"Because I thought it would be easier to forgive than what I really did," she said with anger building up inside her. "So what Dan? We're exactly where we were at the Bass' brunch when we first started dating. I'm not who you thought I was and you can't forgive that."

"I just think too much has happened. I don't know how to make things go back to what they were," Dan replied standing up, preparing to leave.

"So that's it then? It's just 'have a good summer, I'll see you back at school'? Is that what you want?"

"Yeah, I guess it is," Dan said walking away from the conversation and from Serena.

And in that moment Serena let her walls crash in and broke down.

_It seems chivalry isn't dead after all. Lucky for this damsel in a dress, somethings never go out of fashion._

Nate was walking around outside the reception hall thinking over everything that had just happened. Everything he thought about his dad, everything he was proud of about his dad was all a lie. He was shocked, to say the least. Walking around, he hears a faint crying coming from around the corner. Curiosity got the best of Nate as he followed the sound of the noise.

Turning the corner, he was surprised to Serena with her face in her hands. He's seen and dealt with every side of Serena since he can remember but seeing her look so broken is a side he'll never be immune too.

"Serena? What happened?" Nate asked taking a seat next to her, throwing his arm around her shoulder pulling her closer to him.

Not one to show her broken side, Serena quickly attempted to dry her tears even if it was _Nate_.

"Sorry, its just stuff with Dan...or well me I guess."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Nate asked concerned for her.

"We broke up...and I guess after everything that happened I should have seen it coming but, I just hoped that we could move past this...but he still cant accept who I was or who I am now," she said looking up at him with pure sadness.

He could feel his heart strings tug just looking into her eyes. All Nate wanted to do in that moment was shield her from the pain of the Upper East Side and protect her.

"If that's the case then it's his lose Serena. He's the one missing out, not you. If he can't accept you for _you_ then he's an idiot," Nate said earnestly.

"I just...I feel like he put me on this pedestal, ya know what I mean?" she replied.

"S he's not worth your tears if he's going to expect you to change when everything you've done makes you who you are."

With every word Nate spoke, Serena could feel her heart do a flip in her chest. She's never heard someone speak so highly of her and it felt good, especially coming from Nate.

"Thank you, Nate. But lets be honest, the things I've done don't make me a good person," She said standing up and waiting for Nate to follow suit.

"I am being honest Serena, everyone makes mistakes it's human. And if Dan is too much of an idiot to realize that even _Serena van der Woodsen_ is human than screw him," he said pulling her in for a hug.

Leave it to Nate to know how to make a girl feel better.

"You're the best Nate. I don't know if I told you, but I hope you know that I really missed you, last year...and this year."

"You didn't tell me, but it's nice to know. I missed you too S. Now lets go back to the party and enjoy the rest of this wedding!" Nate said pulling her along.

_ONE WEEK LATER_

"I can't believe you and Chuck are...well you and Chuck now!" Serena laughed as she folded some of Blair's clothes and placed them in her designer suitcase.

"I know it's crazy isn't it? But he makes me happy, as weird as it is," Blair replied.

"Well if you're happy than I'm happy. I'm gonna go back to my place and start packing for the Hampton's so I can leave as soon as possible. Have fun in Paris, B! Call me all the time. I'll miss you!" Serena squealed as she pulled her very best friend in for a hug.

"Okay, and please don't disappoint me this summer S! When I come home I want juicy stories not mushy depressing ones about _Brooklyn_, got it? I'll miss you so much. Are you sure you don't want to come to Paris with me?" Blair asked as she looked at her best friend.

"I'll try not to let you down B. And I'm positive! I'm just gonna head to the Hampton's and work on my tan...reflect a little maybe," Serena giggled as she pulled away and headed towards the door.

"Hey B? I'm really happy for you," Serena added before leaving.

Once she got to her penthouse she started packing a bunch of clothes into her suitcases, not even bothering to fold them. After making sure she had everything she needed, she checked the times for the Jitney and realized she still had about two hours before she had to be at the bus stop. Deciding to kill time by getting iced coffee, she grabbed her phone and her wallet and went downstairs to walk to the nearest Starbucks.

After turning the corner around her building she bumped into Nate who was just ending a phone call.

"Nate! Hey!" Serena laughed grabbing his upper arm to get his attention.

"Serena! Whats up?" Nate asked pulling her into a hug.

"Nothing I'm just trying to kill some time before I get on the Jitney. I'm locking myself away in the Hampton's, you know how I get in the summertime."

"Oh I know. that's exactly what I was thinking of doing. This year's been so hectic and crazy I just need to get away from the city for a while. Reflect and what not, ya know?"

"Yeah I know what you mean. It was nice seeing you, give me a call when you're in the Hampton's, yeah?" Serena said walking away

"I will definitely call you," Nate said turning around as well.

After taking a few steps, Serena turned on her heel and called to Nate, "Hey, if you ever want to reflect, alone, together...I'll be around."

"Well, what are you doing right now?" Nate asked with a smile.

_Spotted: N and S with iced coffee, beating the hot weather or their heat? And whether they're sweating it out on the sultry sidewalks or cooling their heels in the Hampton's, no one does summer like New Yorkers. Grab your shades and your sunblock. This one looks like a scorcher. Until next time. You know you love me. XOXO Gossip Girl._


End file.
